The Fox River Boyfriend

12 10 2010

Some ladies have all the luck with men.  Case and point:

One nice day, my apartment was incredibly warm so I ventured down to the Fox River to do some school work.  I chose an area with 5 empty benches in a row, sat on the middle one and got to work.  A little while later a man on a bike came and sat on the far bench.  Then two old ladies hobbled by with their walkers and sat on the bench next to mine.

A while later I hear, “Is anyone sitting here?”

I look up to see an older man (at LEAST 70 years old) standing by the bench.  After glancing quickly at the two empty benches in the area, I tell him no, no one is sitting there and and he plops down next to me.  Wanting to strike a balance between being polite, but not TOO friendly, I continued to busy myself with school work as the man gabbed on and on.

Fox River Man: “Do you come down here a lot?  I’ve never seen you before.”

Me: “I come down every once in awhile…but not during the day because I’m normally working.”

FRM: “Well I come down here at night and I’ve never seen you.  Are you sure you’re not new?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m sure. I’ve lived in Waukesha for quite awhile”

FRM: “Hmm..well, do you want to get coffee sometime?”

*At this point there was a HUGE awkward pause…I was trying to decide if he was truly a creeper, or possibly just lonely and wanting to chat more.  Either way I knew I did not want to have coffee with this man…but I was not sure how to convey this.  Luckily, he broke the silence by clarifying his intent:

FRM: Oh, do you have a boyfriend?

*I used this as a chance to turn down the coffee date but telling a small lie.

Me: Yes! Yeah, I have a boyfriend.

FRM: Oh…I guess he wouldn’t like that very much then……does he live around here?  Do I know him?

Me: No, I don’t think you know him.  But he does live around here.

FRM: Is it serious?  Are you engaged?

Me: No, not engaged.

FRM: Well, it never hurts to ask…I’m just looking for a good woman.  I’ve had a few women, but they all are into drugs or drinking… don’t drink, do you?

Me: Not much.

FRM: Me either, just a couple times a month.

*At this point I’m trying to figure out if I can just get up, say goodbye and leave or if he will follow me or walk with me.  Being busy with schoolwork didn’t deter him from talking my ear off, I wasn’t sure if walking away would deter him either.  Finally I told him I had to go.  He said it was great talking to me and he hoped he’d see me at the river so we could talk more.

I don’t go down to the river as much as I used to.  But anyone who is looking for a date…the river apparently is a good place to pick up men…as long as age isn’t an issue for you. 🙂




4 responses

12 10 2010

That’s hilarious!!!!!! That’s why I always wanted to live by a river.

15 10 2010

I think the most hilarious part of this post is grandma’s comment.

“That’s why I always wanted to live by a river.”


18 10 2010

Grandma, are you trying to pick up men?

19 10 2010
Aunt Joani

Mom, I can take you down there some time. We won’t tell Dad.

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